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Children’s Poems

Poem: Dirty Rotten Fibbers.

Dirty Rotten Fibbers . . . A Mammoth Sale The advert said, I rushed to buy a pair, But though I searched Both high and low There were no mammoths there. . .

Poem. There Is No Such Thing As A Sasquatch.

There Is No Such Thing As A Sasquatch. . A hunter in America Was deep within a wood, Intent on tracking down a deer The signs were fresh and good. . That he himself was being sought Just did not cross his mind, But something different dogged his trail And was not far behind. . […]

Poem: December Dance.

December Dance. . . It’s twirling and whirling and prancing and dancing and sailing and floating and carelessly coating all England today. . .

Poem: The Right Time.

The Right Time. . . My clock’s not totally useless No matter what they say, Though all it’s works broke long ago It’s still right twice a day. . .

Poem: My Mother Always Said.

My Mother Always Said. . . I like to wear red underpants With shiny bits and bows ‘Cos accidents can happen sometimes No one ever knows . .

Poem: Are Crocodile Handbags Dangerous!

Are Crocodile Handbags Dangerous! . Two baby crocodiles Sat upon a stone One called Kevin And one called Joan . Big mammy crocodile Hides beneath the water Waiting til their dinner comes The way that croccies ought’a .

Poem: Things You Just Know.

Things You Just Know. . I leap into bed Without touching the floor I never sit dangling My legs anymore . It just does not matter What others have said I know there’s a monster Waits under the bed .

Poem: Catman. With ‘Free-Solo Climbing’ Video.

Catman. . Birds perch upon high buildings so Their feline foes can’t get ’em. Free solo climbing cats have found That they can always net’em. . . Here is an example of free soloing! Chris Sharma. . . .

Partners In Crime.

Partners In Crime. . My Mum is sad My Dad’s afeared ‘Cos Granny’s getting Very weird. Her name is Bonnie And she’s bad, I couldn’t count The fines she’s had. The police are always At our door, They really give My Gran what for. She twocs fast cars, She shoplifts too, We hear the tales […]

Poem: Things That Go Bump In The Night.

Things That Go Bump In The Night. . . It could be a toy Tipping onto the floor, It could be a draught Coming under the door, It could be a cat Catching birds in a tree, But it might be a monster Who’s thinks I’m his tea. . .