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Children’s Poems

Poem: Johnson Saves The Day.

Johnson Saves The Day. . . The army loved young Johnson He could fart in splendid style, Well loud, and long, and windy He was heard for half a mile. There came a situation When the phone was broke by mortars, So Johnson sent a fart morse code They heard back in headquarters. . .

Poem: Wait It Out.

Wait It Out. . You’re young, you hurt, don’t feel OK There’s no place you belong you say. You feel inept, don’t feel you fit You’re sure they think that you’re a git, You’re gauche, don’t know which game to play But don’t give up, that’s just today. It’s always tough to be your age […]

Poem: A Global Test.

A Global Test. . I took a train To Turkey Where they serve A great kebab . I motored to Morocco Where the couscous Was just fab . I bussed to Barcelona Gorged on tapas Til I spewed . To prove that hot Chip butties Are the planet’s Greatest food . .

Poem: Baby’s Favourite.

Baby’s Favourite. . “What should we have today for tea” Said Mrs Cod to baby. “What on earth’s the meal to be” Said Mrs Cod to child. . “I could not fancy mutton And I never fancy jam, There isn’t any mustard So we really can’t have ham.” . “Of all the meals we’ve ever […]

Poem:The Last Roundup.

The Last Roundup. . Our Mary is a nuisance Always lying on the floor, She spreads out all her comics, Drops her crumbly bits…and more. She leaves her socks and pens and combs Her paper and her clothes, She sometimes leaves an outline Showing clear, where she arose. I hate her ‘cos she’s messy She […]

Poem: A Chip Off The Old Block.

A Chip Off The Old Block. . I really, really do love chips They are my favourite food, They make me feel much better When I’m in a horrid mood. . Chip sarnies, chip butties And fish and chip teas, Just cook me some chips If you’re trying to please. . My Father loves chips […]

Poem: Batty About Bats.

Batty About Bats. . I’m truly batty about bats I’ve got more than three or four, There’s bats upon my ceilings And there’s bats around my door. There’s ninety in my bathroom Eighty seven in a drawer, There’s thirty three inside my pants, My kitchens got twelve more. I wear a bat upon my head […]

Poem: Adults.

Adults. . Adults are large Adults are strong Adults can tell When you’ve done wrong. . All adults are sly They cannot be spied As they creep up on children Who’ve cheated and lied. . Just say to yourself When you’re schemes go all wrong I don’t care… I’ll be grown up myself before long. […]

Poem: A Proven Fact.

A Proven Fact. OK then, if he doesn’t fill it, who does? . I still believe that Santa’s real The things they say aren’t true, I always put MY stocking out Although I’m thirty two. . .

Poem: Let’s Play Squash.

Let’s Play Squash. . Don’t squash spiders Don’t squash flies Don’t chopped onions Hurt your eyes . .