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Children’s Poems

Poem: Advice For Travellers.

Advice For Travellers. . There’s one thing you must never do No matter where you roam, You must not go to Germany, You’re better off at home. The reason is a simple one Which everyone affirms. You must not go to Germany Because it’s full of GERMS. . .

Poem: Are We Alone.

are we alone . many people disappear every year flying saucers take a flight any night sometimes it’s raining cats and dogs or frogs do you think it’s all the truth or not or what .

Poem: Read This Fast.

read this fast. . savoury sausages sizzling succulently tiresome tomboys tangling truculently fatuous farmers fermenting flatulently horrible homespun hideous hatyoulentme . ,

Poem: A Good Word.(extract from Bone Soup)

. A Good Word . Bloody is a good word, I use it when I wish, So eat your cold black pudding It’s a very bloody dish. . If you cut your finger Shout, “It’s really really bloody,” It’s better fun than stamping In the rain and getting muddy. . Books are full of history […]

Poem: Doggerel.

. doggerel . i had a great dane doggie and he was very tall i left him in the rain all day and now he’s very small . .

Poem: Earwigs On The Brain.

Earwigs On The Brain. . Lying in the grass one day I had an itchy ear An earwig found it’s way inside And seemed to disappear. . Not a soul believed my story Not a single word I said And now I feel it scratching As it moves inside my head. . .

Poem: Special Meal For Four Please.

Special Meal For Four Please. . Some people hate To dine alone They’re sad as sad can be. . But I prefer To dine alone ‘Cos then there’s more for me. . .

Poem: Mrs. T-T.

Mrs. T-T. . Mrs. Turningham-Turpington Hitch-hiked to Widdrington Turned left at Bellingham Then lost her wellington. . Mrs. Turningham-Turpington Went off to Orpington Got stuck near Warrington Then bought some wellingtons. . Mrs. Turningham-Turpington Then drove to Washington Got stuck near Bellingham Then found her Wellington. . Mrs. Turningham-Turpington Fears not the driving rain Now […]

Poem: Red Can Spread.

Red Can Spread. . You paint that stool red While I’m at the salon, Tommy’s nagging wife told him To get the job done. . Though he painted the stool Just the best he could do, All the table was marked So he painted that too. . He was pleased , till he spied All […]

Poem. Geordie Dialect: The Seeance.

The Seeance. . When me grannie fell deed From a bash on thi heed A seeance was thi notion Wi got. . So wi alle sat on doon At me mam’s in the toon, Whetha wi felt deed stupid Or not. . Though nowt much occurred Just wa old moggie stirred, Wi wa alle more […]