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Fun Poems

Poem: Spoonface.

Spoonface. . . Seeing yourself in a spoon Is like seeing a secret you, One who is just under the surface And can always make you smile. . .

Poem: Certain Conditions Apply.

Certain Conditions Apply. . . When I fell for you You said you would do anything To make me happy, But you forgot to mention That the offer did not apply If footie is on the tele. . .

Poem: That Fucking Woodpecker.

That Fucking Woodpecker. . . That fucking woodpecker Lives up our lane That fucking woodpecker Gives me a pain Thank fuck that woodpecker’s Stopped raising cain Oh fuck, that woodpecker’s Started again . .

Poem:Those Particular Days.

Those Particular days. . . Some days it just just happens, Sometimes your sweater Is on the right way Sometimes it is inside out. All you can actually hope Is that on the days it goes awry You are wearing something With a very good designer label. . .

Poem: Flim Flam Man.

Flim Flam Man. . . But you are the flim flam man you come from Aberdeen you tell me you are serious but I don’t know where you’ve been. You’re always saying one thing while there’s hints of quite another, I wouldn’t trust you with my friends on even with my brother. There’s something not […]

Poem: A Scottish Beach.

A Scottish Beach. . . The springtime beach is littered With turnips far and wide But I’m not at all perplexed because We’ve had a low Neap Tide . .

Poem: Early Morning Call.

Early Morning Call. . . I am lying snug In a toasty morning bed Fighting the need to rise And go for a pee, But I can tell From my internal clock That this attempted lie in Will be of short duration. . .

Poem: A Faster Love.

A Faster love. . . I looked at you face to face To tell you that I  loved you And wanted you to commit only to me. Too late I saw the horror in your face. The trapped look and the falling of your eyes. It was all I needed, I did not need you […]

Poem: Feeling Fruity.

Feeling Fruity. . . I like your banana It is such a handsome fruit, Long and curved Like an Arabian scimitar. . .

Poem:Full Breakfast Menu.

Full Breakfast Menu. . . I have been lying in bed Entertaining myself for hours By imagining the infinite possibilities Afforded by breakfast. So far there have been Visions of kippers and toast, Oatmeal with sliced bananas, British bacon and eggs Or sliced Scottish bannocks. Imagine American grits With various accompaniments, And what about flavoursome […]