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Fun Poems

Poem: Cry Baby.

Cry Baby. . . It is not only your skin That grows thin with age, It also seems to fetch emotions Much nearer to the surface. Soon you can be brought to tears By news stories, or even adverts. It turns you into a proper softie, Unable to hold your water In more ways than […]

Poem: Nothing Is Perfect.

Nothing Ts Perfect. . . You have to take The rough with the smooth. The beaches with pebbles The kippers with bones The tails on your prawns And the peaches with stones. . .

Poem: That’s Just Life Jim.

That’s Just Life Jim. . . When babies lie asleep With their pretty mouths open It’s all gummy pink suede And velvet pink tongues. Why then, when old people Fall asleep in their fire-you-out-chairs Do you see only a fallen back chin And a cosmic black hole. . .

Poem: Pore Pore Fing.

Pore Pore Fing. . . Poor little bee Trapped in the window Frustrated by the glass. Don’t be so angry With your frenzied buzzing. I will give you a hand And carry you outside Safe within my fingers. Please don’t sting me Or else you will die And I don’t want that. You are a […]

Poem: Eureka

Eureka. . . My first eureka moment Came, behind a party door, The first time that I did it I was sure I wanted more. . The next eureka moment Came, when I was on a beach I saw you in a tanga With a bottom like a peach . The third eureka moment Came, […]

Poem: Spamalot.

spamalot . . i hate bloody spam why do they keep sending it. it is nice of them to worry in case i have erectile dysfunction and to make me kind offers to send me their on-line viagra and then find me a foreign wife, but I truly wish they would stick their mountain of […]

Poem: Action Please.

Action Please.. . . You really are good looking You seemed born to play the part I was happy to audition you To steal my eager heart. Our casting couch was torrid You said all your lines to plan But I’m sorry to inform you That you’re not my leading man. .

Poem: Payback.

Payback. . . Life isn’t always Easy to cope with. It can be painful Worrying and troublesome. I cannot complain though As I have often caused A great deal of pain Trouble and worry myself. . .

Poem. Stop Buying Me Chocolates.

Stop buying Me Chocolates. . . This box of chocolates Is going to abuse me. I will try to put it away But it will call to me, Reminding me that it is there, Allowing me no peace From that constant siren call. It will give me no quarter Until I surrender the battle. . […]

Poem: Fish Are Stupid!

Fish Are Stupid! . . I don’t like watching fish. They are stupid things, Going around in circles And never arriving Always with their mouths open But having nothing to say. And they cannot dance. They are just like me. . .