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Fun Poems

Poem: What About Afterwards.

What About Afterwards. . . Do people change When they die And go to heaven Or are they the same Spiteful nasty creatures That they are now Only in nicer accommodations. . .

Poem: Sounds Like Fun.

Sounds Like Fun. . . Some people hanker for Japan Or want to see the Scillies Or walk on Paris boulevards To buy some naughty frillies. I’d like to see a special place, Dunno where it is exakerley, But if I had to make a choice I think I’d pick Fazakerley. . .

Poem: They Don’t Want To Be Pests.

They Don’t Want To Be Pests. . . They don’t want to be pests But you’ll have to endure it. They try not to be pests But old age will assure it. They’ll pee on the floor Leave their keys in the door, Leave eyes in poe-tay-toes And squash your toe-may-toes, They’ll wander at night […]

Poem: Moussaka.

Moussaka. . . You always mock me when I watch Famous chefs on television, You say that they are not so special, Anyone can cook a simple dish. I sit here now, telling you That your Shepherd’s Pie is wonderful, But the truth of the matter is That it tastes like absolute crap. . .

Poem: Wandering Eye.

Wandering Eye. . . You cannot be held responsible For your wandering eye, After all, if you had not glanced Across the pub in my direction Then I would not have had Any knowledge of what I had been missing. . .

Poem: Taking It To A New Level.

Taking It to A new Level. . . Lying awake beside somebody Who could snore for England, I find it hard to believe I lie awake night after night Listening to this unworldly sound. I think I might have to go and try To sleep on the lumpy spare bed With a pillow over my […]

Poem: Sage Advice Taken.

Sage Advice Taken. . . When I said that you must improve, Must lift your level of play In this rush for love, I meant that you should look To improve development on the inside. I did not mean to suggest That you should buy an up-lift bra, But, then again, it will probably work! […]

Poem: Hate Mail.

Hate Mail. . . I hate your face I hate your voice Why did I pick you When I had the choice. . How did the future Turn to shit, If I’d known the score I’d have cancelled it. . .

Poem: Comfort Food.

Comfort Food. . . You can travel the world Eat at Five Star expense, Learn a menu in French ‘Til it starts to make sense. . I still find when I’m down And need comfort the most There’s no thing can compare With some baked beans on toast. . .

Poem: Tectonic Plates by Any Other Name.

Tectonic Plates By Any Other Name. . . Yesterday someone told me That earthquakes are caused By movement in the Teutonic plates. These are obviously The ones that are measured On the Baron Von Richter scale. . .