Greensleeves. X Factor’s Joe McElderry meets Henry Tudor.

Hi,

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So we have got over the excitement of the weekend and we have a whole week not touched yet.

Most excellent, because anything could happen.

The world is our lobster!

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I was a bit late in getting up today so I have just had to dash down and let the painters in to begin their week in Jaksie’s paint mines….with tea and biccies thrown in.

There are slightly less Chocolate Macaroons than there were yesterday because I had another attack of the midnight munchies last night and I was wicked.

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Just wait until Big H goes to make their mid-morning tea and finds out .

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I had a slightly fraught weekend trying out my new embedding techniques in my X Factor blogs, but I was eventually successful, which is what counts.

Mr T will be proud of me.

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Last night I had a very strange dream about someone sorting out an arranged marriage for me, which was very peculiar.

I cannot imagine what that must be like in real life.

I mean, there are some people that you just don’t fancy in that way at all, ‘nor ever could.

How awful to have no power.

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Having said that….Henry the Eighth was one of the most powerful Kings and it happened to him with Anne of Cleves.

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Just imagine it.

There you are, the King, and your Ambassadors have presented you with your new bride to be….and you hate her on sight.

Just imagine how angry and frustrated you would be.

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Everyone has been told what you are looking for, they are all well aware of your tastes in women, you sent painters to create a true picture of her for you to peruse….and what happens?

They totally cock it up.

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Imagine how they felt when they saw the King’s thunderous face and were told to get it fixed, or else, because he would be having words with them about it.

Given the colossal power that he had, allied to his complete lack of compunction in using it to devastating effect, they must have been terrified.

“You know my taste, yet you dare to bring me this Flemish mare. How dare you let me down in this way and put me in such a position. I want a very pretty bride.  Get this problem solved or else!”

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Joe McElderry from X Factor is very pretty indeed.

Imagine if they brought him back with them for Henry.

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“What is this Spanish bride you have brought me?”

This is no female, this is a young man.

Are you all imbeciles, do you wish to die!”

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“Yet he is extremely pretty sire.”

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“Hmmm, indeed he is. I may yet keep him with me for his very prettiness.”

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“What do you hink of that, you pretty thing.  I shall keep you.  What can you do to please me that does not include bedding you?”

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“Well, I could sing you songs.”

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“Indeed….let us hear you then.  Give forth.”

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Joe sings in his beautiful voice.

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“This is pleasing indeed, for I have a masterful talent for the writing of songs.  We shall spend time creating works of great and lasting  beauty.”

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Joe grins with happiness.

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“And what fine teeth you have there too.  I am a great admirer of fine teeth.

I shall however let you keep yours in your mouth, as long as you do not tempt me too much by smiling widely for no discernable reason.

We shall do well together.

Ambassadors, inform The King Of Spain of my pleasure in his dispatch of such a fine voice and such wonderful teeth to my English court!”

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He leans towards Joe and says engagingly, “Now , have you heard Greensleeves…..”

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OK, OK.

I cannot help it.

I just get carried away and go off at tangents.

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Have a surreal day.

I often do.

J x.

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