I Hate Crusts.

Greetings

And so the weekend beckons. I hope that you have something good in store .

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At the moment I do not have anything special planned because Big H’s energy levels fluctuate a lot. Proven by the fact that I still have ladders in the living room and black wires hanging out of the walls and ceiling.

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I do not nag him however as I am used to half finished jobs.

After 40 odd years of living with someone, you adapt, because the alternative would be to kill him and this is not an option as all the training that has managed to stick would be wasted.

He is also very good at scratching my back, when I cannot reach the itchy bits, and at making me my special sandwiches.

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This began years ago when I was due to go into hospital and have a D&C. I had never been in hospital before as I had both of my children at home.

That was not an easy thing to do in those days because the trend was to go in and be induced etc., and I was even threatened with possibly dire consequences of my stubbornness because I was having a first baby when I was over 25.

I just thought that a home birth was a good thing as there is no regimentation and you can please yourself.
The other side benefit is that you know for sure that the baby you have is definitely your own child.
This is comforting for those who end up with teenage monsters because at least they will  know that the monster is most definitely of their own creation.
Over the years there have been quite a lot of stories of mix-ups taking place and people eventually finding out that they are actually bringing up someone else’s baby and vice versa for the other family. What a nightmare that must be to sort out.

To continue the story so far. On the day before the operation I was really feeling frightened and had not eaten at all because of nerves.

Big H was very worried and kept offering me various meals, which were refused, until In the end he desperately asked, “How about just a couple of ham sandwiches?

Even though I again refused, he went off to make me some anyway, just in case I could be tempted.
About an hour later he came back upstairs with a pretty little china plate upon which were three tiny little triangular sandwiches which contained surgically thin slices of cucumber and tomatoes along with the ham, and , best of all, the crusts were cut off.
That worked. I ate those, even confessed that I could manage a few more, and then a few more again. It made me feel a lot better, still scared, but better.

This passion for trimmed sandwiches results from my childhood, where there was rationing after the war, and meals were still very sparse affairs.

We did not eat between meals and you never felt totally full, so we were expected to eat everything on our plates, no matter what we thought of it.

I used to hate the sandwiches made with days-old bread and I can remember laboriously chomping through the crusts telling myself that when I finally grew up I would never eat crusts again.
You cannot imagine the pleasure I can get from not doing so.

Another thought I have.  Surely it would be very sensible if people were to pay more attention to things which they have to do regularly and learn to get pleasure from them.

Just because something is a natural function or a daily necessity does not preclude an enormous amount of enjoyment being obtained.

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Many people seem to be of the mindset that fun is something ‘out there’ that needs to be provided and then paid for.

This means that if tough times arrive there is a true feeling of deprivation and distress because expenses will not stretch to cover these expenditures regularly, whereas if you can change perceptions now these pleasurable moments will still occur naturally every single day

For instance, in my own case, I love having a poo.

I love the feeling of my insides contracting and then a strange ‘circular ‘ movement as the bowel begins evacuating itself. There is an added benefit in that I am prepared to sit there quietly till it is all done.

I don’t rush away before the body begins to work, because it is taking far too long, or there are other things I would rather be doing instead.

I never put it off because I would rather watch television or paint my toenails instead. This is a way healthy habit.
Try it yourself, it helps to shut your eyes and feel it in the beginning  until you get used to paying attention to yourself.

GO ON, you are worth it.

Another thing I like to do is close my eyes and empty my head totally when I clean my teeth.

I have no thoughts in it at all and it gets like a meditation instead of it being a boring task that is over as quickly as possible, and is probably not anywhere near thorough enough .

I could go on but I do not want to bore you silly.  If you are already silly then please don’ t try to blame it on me ‘cos it’s all your own fault.

Enjoy your day, have a poo.

J

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