It Keeps Sneaking Up On Me.



Up again early this morning, but I know why this time.

Big H was watching a really cheesy Jean-Claude Van Damme film and I had to leave the room before any more of my brain cells died on me, so I exited off to bed to read a book.

He will probably arise this morning with an IQ of 17 due to his tastes in action films…oh no, that would be wrong….that would be higher than normal!….sorry, just could not resist saying that!

Obviously I got up in a silly mood today.

Stop it now Jaksie!


Actually I should be in a bad mood today because the 7lbs I lost after gorging on those bloody Cadbury’s? Mini Eggs is back again.

So I now have a weight problem once more.

This is entirely due to Big H buying that huge all singing, all dancing barbecue a few weeks ago.

That and his taste for sausages, beefburgers….and my laziness, as I don’t like cooking.


It also did not help as I bought him a special Tefal chip cooker that only uses one teaspoon of fat and seems to cook using hot air.

It turns the chips continually as they are cooked by the air ….and they are perfect.


He even prepares the chips some time before they are needed and then soaks them in cold water to remove the starch, then dries them in a tea-towel before cooking….he also leaves the skins on….and he serves them with brown sauce….and he cuts them into fat wedges so that the potato inside the chip is hot and fluffy too.

I am sure that you can see that he is a well meaning, newly converted to cooking late in life, Spawn Of The Devil temptation!

It is all his fault.


No, you are absolutely wrong, the many cold beers, wine and glasses of whisky have nothing whatever to do with the situation as they are purely medicinal!


Seriously though, I must stop this because I have an important wedding soon and I have just paid a fortune for a suit to wear for it and at this rate I will be too big to get into it any longer.

Unless I want to be preserved forever in wedding photographs looking like a person wearing clothes that have shrunk in the wash I had better pull my socks up and get on my exercise machine….and eat less….and cook more.


I am chastened.


So much so that I tore up my beautiful butter croissant that I had planned on having, lightly toasted, for my breakfast, and put it out for the jubilant birds who proceeded to snaffle it as quickly as was avianly possible.

Was that a real word there or not?

Never mind, it is my version of …’as was humanly possible.’


So, back to the porridge and salads for me then.

Have a meaty, chippy and chocolaty one yourself anyway.



At least it is finally back to the bright blue skies and the bright sunshine today, so far at least.

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