Let’s Make ‘Em Up Ourselves

And The Best Of Good Mornings To You,

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Still grey,cloudy and damp up here, but this morning I am in  an Excellent humour.

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Now that I am older, I find that Big H and I cannot lift heavy things in the same way we once could, especially with him having being so ill for so long.

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Over the past month, since we had lots of work done in the house, we have had stuff delivered to us, but the couriers will mostly only put it in the hall for you nowadays.

Thank god it is a big hall, because it rapidly turned into an obstacle course, exacerbated by the fact that a joiner had asked us to pay for heaps of wood for a job he was going to do for us a month age , and then promptly let us down.

So we have had his big, long, pile of wood and MDF to step over too.

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I am now so used  to making a huge, high, exaggerated step, in order to get over it, that when it is finally removed I will probably keep on unthinkingly doing that for weeks, and anyone who observes me will harbour serious doubts about my sanity.

Can you imagine me, bringing someone a cup of tea, and then, in the middle of crossing a totally empty hall, taking a ridiculous pantomime step before continuing on……I certainly would not drink the tea, I don’t know about you!

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Anyway, yesterday this pair of lovely, strong friends we have, came in answer to Big H’s plea, and they spent half an hour or more humping a load of very, very heavy stuff from room to room.

They ended up completely sweating and flushed.

See, even in a naughty world, there are some wonderful people who are prepared to help you out when you cannot manage.

Otherwise we would have had to just be like some other strange folk and leave thin walkways through all the rooms, between the towering stacks of ‘stuff”.

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Of course, if YOU live like that, then I totally admire your fearless ‘sense of cosiness’ , your unusual sense of interior design, and your fine sense of direction too!

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So that is why I feel light and wonderful upon this new day.

I hate living with irritating, annoying and frustrating things that you cannot change, but if they did not sometimes happen then how would we appreciate how great it can be when they finally stop.

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I am not including Big H in that last statement because he is a fact of life and I love him, now and then!

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Do you remember me writing that poem I posted a while age, which is a story..only wholly based upon collective nouns?

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Did you read it?

Of course you did.

After all, you are probably frightened that if you don’t, I shall preternaturally know about it and have you tracked down and killed by my elite group of female Ninja Assassins.

A quick and painful end for you…but delivered by females of surpassing beauty and grace.

So much so that some of the more S&M amongst you would no doubt consider it a dream ending.

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Don’t you dare stop reading my posts you people, in the forlorn hope that such perfection will befall you.

That is because I know who you are and I shall make sure to have YOU removed by my reserve team.

These particular deadly females all being post-menopausal now and in possession of fine, waxed moustaches and deep voices.

So, you would regret it…just trust me on that!

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My reason for asking about the poem is that I was so struck by the beauty, and sense of  correctness, that some of the collective nouns conjured up for me..

I mean…A Lamentation Of Swans…it is pure poetry.

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So, I began to amuse myself by making up my own collective nouns,

Here are some of them…

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A jinx of Jonahs.

A nag of wives.

A finger of Proctologists.

A sniff of aristocrats.

A thickness of beauty queens.

A giggle of comedians.

A ‘nowthen’ of doctors.

A mendaciousness of estate agents.

A stirring of chefs.

A slipperiness of politicians.

A fin of lawyers.

A pricktease of girls.

A dribble of pensioners.

A rod of boys.

A vroom of petrol-heads.

A puke of louts

A gerrymandering of politicians.

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What do you think!

It is great fun to do…in fact it gets quite obsessive.

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If you think up some good ones, you can send them to me, and I will print the ones I like best in the comments box…along with your name, if you would like to give it, so I can accredit it to you!

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Lovely talking to you.

Let’s do it again soon,

Love,

Jaksie,

X.

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Expecting a contribution from you on this Nelly!

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2 Responses to “Let’s Make ‘Em Up Ourselves”

  1. nelly says:

    oh ha ha!! I’m so predictable aren’t I !

    I can’t come up with anything creative, I suppose we can say:

    A Hybrid of pretentiousness
    A Tweetful of procrastination
    a (H1N1)shot of paranoia
    a mouthful of bloggers
    an eh? of canadians

    =0)

  2. Jaksie says:

    Hi Nelly,

    Good to hear from you!

    Hope that all is going extremely well for you.

    Thanks for the input.

    The winner has to be…. an eh? of Canadians.

    I presume that one is because they say ‘eh’ before giving a reply to most questions????

    That is my favourite one anyway.

    Take care,
    Jaksie.

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