Looking through the eyes of love.



We still have amazing monsoon weather here at the moment.  Everything is looking so very, very green this year.

I remember when we got back from living in the Middle East it was a shock to see somewhere that was so extremely green again.Walking once more in our lush Public Parks  and feeding the greedy ducks and swans was a total pleasure.


It amazed me how much everyday beauty we just take for granted.

A bit like those wonderful few moments when you first open the door upon your return from a holiday.  For just that short  time you can see your own familiar home in just the way a stranger would do.

I love that, seeing all my favourite treasures and ornaments as if for the first time ever.  Then familiarity returns and everything is safe and comfortable once more.

It is just as well that Big H goes away from home with me, or I would probably return and ask myself  “Who the hell is this grumpy old git?”  and get rid of him.

Hmmmm,  Would he think the same thing about me ?

No, of course not, he wouldn’t bloody dare !


On second thoughts, why bother.  It is a bit like coming back from holiday in relationships too.

Of course a strange person seems tempting, exciting and different, but familiarity will soon work it’s magic and that new person will become just as familiar and comfortable as the old one.

In the past I have had friends who become bored and irritated with their husbands, so they decide that they will free themselves, by getting a divorce.

You ask them if they are really sure they want to do this, because there are a lot of lonely women out there, who would be only to pleased to have the unwanted spouse.

The reply is usually scathing in the extreme because they are now blind to any, and all, of their partner’s formerly compelling attractions.


If they then go ahead with the divorce, it can be shocking to see the speed with which the unwanted and despised man is enthusiastically snapped up by an appreciative woman.

She, of course, is thrilled with his newness and the end of her loneliness, and is only too eager to lavish care, attention, uninhibited sex and praise upon the newly divorced and quickly comforted man


After a while ,the ex wife may see him through new eyes, but he is forever gone.


The regretful lady may unfortunately find herself more of a drag on the singles market than she envisaged, as what seems wise and sophisticated in the mature male, is seen very differently when applied to an older  woman.

If she has children then she may also find herself having to share them with the blissful new couple.


Perhaps it is just my own strange take on it, but I think it may be a better idea to stay put with a person you have spent a life with and try to make them fall in love with you all over again,

Then you can both enjoy the fruits of all the time spent building up the long years of a relationship.

I wonder how many people who have divorced and moved on, actually realize that they like their first partner of many years much better than they do the next one.

I suppose that what I am trying to say is, that they could making decisions  while their reasoning is clouded by familiarity and use.

Perhaps a look with new eyes might give a different result.


If a person would be unwilling to be seen  looking a certain way by a visitor to their home,  then why is it OK for their partner to see them in that way.

Surely good sense would dictate that what is not good enough for a visitor, who is not of any great importance in the scheme of things, is definitely not going to be good enough for a partner.

I also think that couples should show each other the same good manners and consideration that they would offer a stranger.  Familiarity is no reason for indulging in bad manners and rudeness.


So I think I shall keep my grumpy old bastard because he still looks like a younger Frank Sinatra and he makes me my favourite sandwiches, with the crusts cut off, reasonably regularly.

And, especially cleverly, he will turn over in his sleep whenever I tell him to.  Thus allowing me to be the back spoon and steal all of his heat.

It takes many years to instill that level of training and obedience to commands.

Such things are not to be sniffed at.



J.  X


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