Old People.
Hello Peeps,
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I was just reading one of those staples that you find in newspapers regularly.
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You know the one I mean, where old people well over the age of 100 are asked why they have managed to reach such an impossible age, and what they put their longevity down to.
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The answers, given with great solemnity, cover such statements as …. never having drunk alcohol ….
….. never having smoked ….
…. eating an apple a day ….
…. drinking a hot toddy every Thursday …
etc. etc. etc.
All so serious and boring.
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My God, I can remember quite a few ancient old men who lived in the same area that I did when I was a kid.
They were all similarly small, wizened, and sprightly … and they all smoked Woodbines as if they were going out of fashion!
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I think there must be certain people who have incredibly strong lungs, and such a genetic make-up that they could smoke a whole dog a day without any hint of a problem.
Although you would need to be barking to do that.
But these things are totally arbitrary.
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The thing that surprises me, is that all of the replies that I have read, in answer to the original question, are so bloody serious and boring.
Perhaps the answer could just as easily be …. ‘I have lived so bloody long because I have no sense of humour, and I have never missed having one.
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But all I know is, that if I live to such a horrible age, I shall try to avoid being asked such irritating questions in the first place.
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However, if the very cruel Matron of a sub-standard old peoples’ home forces me to answer, then I shall tell them it is because …. I have never worn any knickers in my life!
Or perhaps that …. I attribute it all to …. having had sex every single day of my life up until then!
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Bah!
Humbug!
J.
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