Old People.

Hello Peeps,

.

I was just reading one of those staples that you find in newspapers regularly.

.

You know the one I mean, where old people well over the age of 100 are asked why they have managed to reach such an impossible age, and what they put their longevity down to.

.

The answers, given with great solemnity, cover such statements as …. never having drunk alcohol ….

….. never having smoked ….

…. eating an apple a day ….

…. drinking a hot toddy every Thursday …

etc. etc. etc.

All so serious and boring.

.

My God, I can remember quite a few ancient old men who lived in the same area that I did when I was a kid.

They were all similarly small, wizened, and sprightly … and they all smoked Woodbines as if they were going out of fashion!

.

I think there must be certain people who have incredibly strong lungs, and such a genetic make-up that they could smoke a whole dog a day without any hint of a problem.

Although you would need to be barking to do that.

But these things are totally arbitrary.

.

The thing that surprises me, is that all of the replies that I have read, in answer to the original question, are so bloody serious and boring.

Perhaps the answer could just as easily be …. ‘I have lived so bloody long because I have no sense of humour, and I have never missed having one.

.

But all I know is, that if I live to such a horrible age, I shall try to avoid being asked such irritating questions in the first place.

.

However, if the very cruel Matron of a sub-standard old peoples’ home forces me to answer, then I shall tell them it is because …. I have never worn any knickers in my life!

Or perhaps that …. I attribute it all to …. having had sex every single day of my life up until then!

.

Bah!

Humbug!

J.

.

.

 

Leave a Response