Let’s talk about parasites.

Hi Peeps,

I have just had the hottest night.  In the weather sense not the biblical.

I eventually got up early because Big H was giving off heat like a furnace.  It reminded me of living in the Middle East.

It used to be so hot and humid when we lived out there, that my glasses would immediately steam up when we went outside for a walk, but it was bearable even at it’s worst because we had air conditioning and it was always delicious to walk back into the flat and meet that wall of chilled air.  Thrilling.

One of the worst  things was the cockroaches because they were everywhere.

When we walked out at night they would crunch underfoot the whole time. Huge, reddy coloured flat things they were.  I hated it when they got into my hair, or even worse , when they got into my clothes.

On one occasion we were walking along the seafront promenade and I was wearing the usual, approved, long baggy dress type of thing when a cockroach hit me and then dropped down from my neck and into my dress.

I freaked out in horror and started to lift up my clothes to get rid of it, and all the while Big H is urgently telling me not to do that as I will cause offence and create problems.

It ended whith me rushing home at the speed of light, shaking my baggy clothes furiously and issuing terrified squeals. I must have looked like a lunatic, but a very decently and properly covered one.

It is strange to find out the customs of other peoples.


The first day we went to the nearby beach I thought that the water was full of seals or dolphins or something of that kind.  They turned out to be Arab ladies having a swim.

In order to enjoy this pleasure they must stay completely covered , some even wearing the full face mask.  Once they get fully into the water and start swimming all of the air which is trapped in the black garments rises up to the surface and becomes like a big balloon.  Often a family member waits at the waterside with a towel to wrap around the swimmer as she leaves the water. However, the exotic soon looks the norm, as you would expect.


One day , when we were out Big H slapped his neck and exclaimed that something nasty had bitten him.  This was not an unusual experience for everyone and I said so, but he insisted that this time it was different because he was sure that something had laid eggs in his neck.

Not long after he began to get eruptions on both his hands and his feet.

They began as small red marks which developed a little blister in the middle.  over days a small lack dot would appear in the centre of the blister before the whole thing would dry up and lift of like a little flake.

Eventually he had hundreds of these things, in various stages, for most of the time.  His feet also became very red with angry, patchy skin and sometimes developed large, deep cracks which made walking painful.  He visited the private hospitals a lot, took various pills and medicines and used an assortment of prescribed creams but the problems remained.

Once we got back to the UK and home,  Big H was always asking me to look at the lump which had developed upon the site of the bite on the neck, to see if I could see anything.  I never could as it looked just like a big bump, but not a sharply delineated one such as a wen.

Later he often asked me to squeeze it and see if I could get rid of it.

This becoming a common occurrence over the years.

On one occasion I squeezed and I squeezed until his neck looked red, angry and swollen but I could only press out a tiny amount of white ‘cheese’.  He lost patience with me then and  asked my youngest son to do it for him.

He is very strong and unflappable so he did as his father asked and managed to quickly squeeze out a long length of white that was a couple of inches long. While we were exclaiming at the length my son and I both thought we saw it move a tiny bit but we dismissed it as compression or imagination, or something like that.

Big H was very pleased and we imagined that when the swelling finally went down that would be the end of the story.

It was not.


The years passed, Big H’s health was deteriorating, and he still complained that the lump on his neck had not gone.  Added to this was the feeling he still had that something was living in there.

Often he would ask me to look at the lump because he could feel something moving about, but however hard I tried I could not see any movement and thought it was just his imagination.

Over the years he had also developed a dreadfully swollen neck which looked like a big goitre across the whole neck.  A big lump like an egg could be felt on one side between the middle of the throat and the jugular area.

Eventually he discovered Neem Oil and began to apply that to his hands and feet and the spot things began to reduce in amount and his feet healed with no more painful cracks and peeling ugly skin.  He could shake hands with people again


One day when he could feel movement in his neck he slapped Neem Oil onto it in copious amounts.

Later on he  said that he could feel that something was definitely thrashing around in the back of his neck beneath the lump. but I could see no movement there.

After some days this ceased.


It finally came to a head a couple of Christmases ago when Big H could no longer bear the strain of feeling that he had a parasite.  He asked our oldest son to cut open the lump with a scalpel and see what was inside once and for all.

Our son bravely did so and the result was horrifying.


Once the lump was cut into,  a 30mm long segmented creature, about 3mm thick, was taken out. It was curled in horseshoe shape about 13mm wide. Big H says that there was a breathing tube too but I do not know whether he saw this or whether he knows that there must have been one because that was how the oil blocked the tube and killed the creature.

Then underneath that, after cutting down a bit further, there was this horrible rotting  stuff .

Then, after a final cutting through, there were two sacs about the size of  golden corns.

After this my son stopped cutting as it was getting too deep and he was afraid he would damage something,  also he was feeling quite sick and needed to get washed off.

Unfortunately I was cooking Xmas dinner and everyone else was having a good time so no one thought to preserve the pieces. It was all so horrible and unexpected because you do not believe such stuff can be real or that Big H had been correct about what had happened right from the moment he was bitten.

After that Christmas I would periodically have to pull sharp bits out from the healing skin, using sharp tweezers.  They were like shards of eggshell, but eventually they stopped working up to the surface of the skin, and it all healed up to look like a white scar line in a slight depression of skin.

Since then Big H’s Little marks have more or less gone but he has become worried again since the beginning of the year.


He has been very tired a lot of the time during the last few years since his neck swelled up and he often has an incredibly sore throat, on the inside.  This is on the same side as the original swollen egg in the outside swelling.

In January he developed what looked like fly bites on his calves but they developed into circular rashes which then kept expanding outwards and were swollen up from the normal surface. Then another three set of these marks  developed later on the knee and upper and lower thigh.

This was all on one leg only.

Then in MayI read that garlic cures parasites and because this was his main worry he ate about one bulb a day for two weeks.

Over this time the spots decreased , went flat. crusted and reduced until eventually the areas (10) looked like bruises. Now there is the occasional flare up of itchy pink blotches and spots.


As you can imagine Big H is now worried that he has more parasites hatching and nothing anyone says will alter that fear for him.

He has been for a neck scan which showed what they thought were 3mm polyps in the gland on the sore side. The only other unusual thing is that often the blood test results show his white blood cell count  to be very low with no discernible reason.

The Doc says that his immune system is not that good  and he does go through periods when he catches everything that is going around.

He tells the Doctors and Consultants all about the worm thing but  we are in the UK, not the tropics, and I do not think that anyone takes it seriously here.


There now, if you are still with me and reading this, I can sincerely congratulate you both on your high boredom levels and your strong stomach.

If, however you have any idea what is wrong with Big H please let me have a comment as I would like to put the poor man’s mind at rest.

Please do have a good day and try not to be anal about flies.


J x

On a lighter note . I found a half pound block of butter in the fridge which had gone out of date so I just put it out for the birds as a solid block.  Boy, did they like it !


The Birds


I hope that you are happy and that all is going  well for you.


I am having a good day so far except for hearing that my son’s fiance was knocked off her bicycle today by a horrible swine of a motorist.


She was cycling along and the driver behind obviously did not like the fact that she was correctly taking up a car space.  This man started beeping his horn continually and surging right up behind her.  She got scared by this and pulled into the gutter whereby he immediately shoved past her and she ended up thrown from her bike onto the ground.

The two drivers who had been behind the aggressive driver rushed to help her, while the man just roared off without bothering about the accident he had caused.


When I spoke to her later I found out that she has lost lots of skin from her hands, arms and legs.  The scabs are now forming and she cannot close her hands, and she has sprained her wrist.

Sadly, the beautiful new solitaire diamond engagement ring she was given when my son proposed, only one month age, has had two of the claws damaged. and one side looks as if it has been through a coarse industrial sander.

What a horrible thing to happen. I hope that it doesn’t cause her to decide not to use her bike again as she has enjoyed going to work on it for years.

That nasty man probably thinks that he got away with it but one thing I do know,  and I have seen it too,  is that what goes around comes around.


As you know, I have been feeding the birds for a few weeks now.

The upside is the fun of watching all the crows squabbling over the food.

They dive bomb each other regularly and appear to think that the piece of bread that another crow is eating is infinitely more desirable than any of the other pieces that are lying peacefully on the extra wide coping stones on top of the patio wall.  Just like people really I suppose.


The downside is that they are pooing all over my patio and the wooden furniture.

There is so much shit all over the place that one could suppose that they are deliberately coming round just to do it there .

Base ingratitude I calls it Guv!.


It can be quite strange to see their reaction to different offerings of food  that I put out for them.

To be honest I have never really fed lots of birds before so I have  been putting out  huge amounts of bread  and adding leftovers too.

For instance, I had bought some ham which I discovered had a lot of horrible gristle running through it, so I chopped it up into pieces and put that out for them.

They would not eat it at all.

Is this a rejection of ham generally or just such bloody rubbishy  ham that they considered it inedible.

After all, crows probably have standards too.


Did you know that Gypsies used to say   “Good Morrow Mr. Crow”   whenever they passed one, so that the crow would not be angry and put the evil eye on them ?

I was not told that by an actual Gypsy in person, I just read it in an  ‘All You Want To Know About Gypsies’   type of book when I was a child,  but I thought it was cool and it stuck in my mind.

I have done it ever since and no crow has ever put the evil eye on me so it must work  !!!!!!!!!!!


So far the birds have really liked pasta with pesto, golden corn and kidney beans with balsamic vinegar, the last packet of Warburton’s Potato Pancakes, toast and marmite, porridge oats,  and haloumi cheese.

The cheese went like free drinks  in a pub.


Many years age, when I was out exercising the beautiful German Shepherd we owned at that time, he found a baby bird hiding in a field  amongst the long grass.  ( This was a dog and not an actual shepherd from Germany).

I shooed him away and picked up the poor creature.  It was the ugliest thing I had ever seen.

It was big, with only wrinkled pink skin and very bulgy eyes, with pathetic bare wings.

I put it inside my jacket and brought it carefully home.


In order to keep the dog away from it I put it the bird in the cloakroom and fixed a tall piece of wood across the inside of the doorway so that when I opened the door it could not run past me  .  I had no idea what to do with the tiny creature but after a lot of thought I got a large eyedropper with a bulb on one end and then I  then got some Kit-E-Kat and mixed it with water so that I could draw it up the tube.  After that it was just a case of feeding the bird a lot  of food every day

Over time the cloakroom got very messy but the baby grew more and more like a proper bird. I remember being very interested in what make of bird it was.


It turned out to be the the biggest wood pigeon ever.

It was named Walter Pigeon, after the well known Hollywood actor of the forties , although obviously the pigeon was not much of an actor.

Eventually Walter went out to live in the patio garden and I fed him by tying a tin tray to the railing and putting  pigeon seed on it daily.

All went swimmingly until one day he flew through the the open back door into the kitchen and got scared.

He tried to fly out of the window and smashed his head on the glass.

Eventually  he flew out but he never came back to visit  me.


He did however become quite notorious and people would ask me if I had seen that huge pigeon that was flying  around and say that he was a monster of a bird.

I admitted to nothing.

Of course he must have been an alpha pigeon, because before very long there were many other really huge pigeons in the vicinity, much to everyone’s amazement.  True sons of Walter.


This was way more successful than my earlier attempt to rescue a baby bird in distress.

Many years before we had been visiting  Bamburgh  to look at the wonderful castle that stands directly upon the beach.

As we walked up the main street in order to find a cafe we heard a bit of a commotion going on in the little green in the centre of the village.

It  turned out that a bird had fallen from the nest and had been cornered by some young boys who were throwing stones at it, so I chased them away and asked a shopkeeper for a box.  We brought it back home with us and within hours it was eating Kit-e-Kat out of my hand,

What an amazing feeling.


After that great success I put the bird back in the box for the night and pushed it under the table.

It was then that I saw the little red spidery things that had crawled off the bird and onto my hand.  I was horrified and went to wash my hands and arms twice.  I then decided that I had better hoover the floor in case they were running all over the place.

Of course I did a long and thorough job of it too.


Later, when I peeped in the box, I saw the bird was lying there all dead.

Obviously I had terrified it to death with all the noise when I hoovered around it’s box.

Oh , I felt so awful and guilty about killing him. It just goes to prove that excessive amounts of  housework can be dangerous to life.


Birds are not the only ones who appreciate cheese.  I still keep buying the stuff  because I lust after it, even though consuming it gives me a migraine.

Thankfully,  when I get it home and start to put it in my mouth,  I usually get overtaken by self preservation again and refrain from the temptation.

Normally I just give it an Olympic standard sniffing and then regretfully chop it up into squares as an offering for the jubilant birds.

Never mind, it helps to keep the cheese industry in profit in these dark times and no doubt there will soon be queries about giant crows infesting the place.  However I don’t expect that they will grow as huge as Walter did because his diet was very rich right from him being a tiny orphan.


Anyway, I would love to chat for longer but it is well past dinnertime and I have some nice Stilton to sniff before I feed it to the birds.




Hi Mike. Glad you like the site . Regards.

The Great Game , The Second Question.



I have devised a second part to ‘ The Great Game ‘ question.


Second Question…….Ah yes….BUT….would you still give him one if he was wearing a pair of old, baggy,  purple bri-nylon Y fronts  The ones with those nasty looking whitey/grey borders and lots of hard little pills on them ?


Now THIS seems to be a genuine sticking point !



Worrying about someone you love is a total waste of time and energy.


It’s quarter to three, no one in the place except you and me.

On second thoughts, perhaps you are not a Frank Sinatra admirer.


I was not very sleepy tonight so here I am again, writing a post in the early hours of the morning.


Tonight I want to write about the way time and powerful energy is wasted if you expend it just worrying about someone you care for.


When you care for someone, you have an emotional connection to them.

When you are spending time worrying about them you are doing nothing at all to help them in a useful and constructive way.  All you are doing is making yourself out of balance.


Worrying is a natural enough thing to do , but you are wasting an opportunity to be helpful.

When you worry about a person that you have some emotional connection with, it can best be described as opening up a telephone line between you and them.


That is why we say things like  ‘It tugged upon the strings of my heart’  or  ‘ I feel such a connection with you’.

On a certain level we all instinctively know this.


Just think of it like an invisible string that connects you to them no matter how far away they are from you.

It is like dialling their number and plugging in on their wavelength.

Having done this you then waste a golden opportunity to help them by just sitting back and worrying yourself silly.

If anything of that emotion got through to the person it would not be of any use to them at all.


Think about how often , during past emotional upsets, when we do not know what to do , we act upon advice someone keeps forcefully putting forward. Later on when the crisis is over we wonder why we did certain things because  we realise that the way we dealt with it was not the best solution for us and we wish we had done it differently.

It is no good regretting it and wishing we could have another chance. We dealt with it in that way because the turmoil and emotion made us too receptive and open, and we were too desperate to think logically about the good sense of the proffered advice.

What we needed was calming down and encouragement and firm support, creating us a place where we could work it out effectively.


What should you do when you are worrying about a  person so much that they keep coming into your mind all the time and you cannot stop thinking about them?

You should treat it like you would an open phone line.


Do it this way.

Sit quietly

Calm yourself.

Concentrate totally on that person.

Do not be feeling all that worry about the situation. Do not be churning up inside. Be calm and hold the feeling of caring for them.

Be calm and totally in the moment. Concentrate on them in an easy way.


Now speak to them directly.

Do it either way. You can physically speak , as if they are in the room with you or you can speak to them in your mind. It makes no difference which way you do this.

In some situations you will not be alone and so you will obviously do this in your mind, just as people pray without sound in a church.


Tell them that you love them and thatyou care for them.

Tell them you know that they have worries but they will be able to cope with the situation. That it will pass and things will be better again.


Tell them that they are wonderful and that they are loved and respected by others, that they are important to them.

That they are not alone and that you love them dearly. You can remind them of all the other people who love and cherish them.

That they are precious and needed by so many others who are there for them always.Tell  them again that they are not alone.

You will be doing something helpful and constructive with all the energy you would have used up in pointlessly worrying yourself silly.


Try never to waste your time in worry.


Sometimes the only thing you can do is make the connection and send a prayer to them.   Ask that they be kept safe from harm.

If you find that the worry keeps popping up then send another prayer, it can only help, you can not do any better.

If you do not pray then send thoughts of encouragement to the person, tell them that they are strong, that they can get through this.

Tell them to be brave . Tell them you love and believe in them.

Send them encouragement that  they can get through it.


Just think of it this way.  If I am right, and I am, then you do help.

It is the same as being physically with them and speaking to them and touching them.  It is just touching them upon another level.

If there is nothing else you can do, then do this.


If at that precise moment , because you have been intensely worried about them, you make the connection a live one,  imagine the help you could give to someone at the end of their tether, their  thinking so disordered by stress and worry that they can see no way through. They have forgotten all the good things and are in despair.

If at that precise moment, because you have been thinking of them, you have made the connection a live one and you manage to send through with your love and comfort and care. That could be just enough to lift them again and give them the strength to carry on.

What is there to lose in trying.


This method of connection can be used in many situations.

For instance,  if you know that someone is imprisoned, you could follow the steps to being quiet and send them the thoughts that you care  about them and encourage them to be strong.

It can be done for public figures you have never met but whom you care aboutt.  People such as Nelson Mandela years age or today’s imprisoned dissidents.

Or even someone you read about in the newspapers who is suffering and who you would like to help.


Do  not waste your energy wishing you could help.  Do it.  Just direct some love and care their way.

Also remember that love is not a finite thing.  People do not have only a certain amount of love to give and them they are empty.  The more you love, the more love you have to give.


If you are worrying about someone sitting an exam then tell them to be calm, that they will be able to cope well, calmly send them love and encouragement, then ‘put down the phone’ and be happy that you have done something to help


Do this for yourself too when you are worrying about something personal.

Calm your mind and body and then speak to yourself. Tell yourself not to worry. You can do this, you are strong enough  etc, etc,


Remember that worrying sucks. It is one of the most useless and pointless ways to spend your time and emotion.

It is a bad habit. Get rid of it. Do something constructive instead.


My goodness how the time has passed.  There is now a loud morning chorus outside, so I shall do my spell check before I go out and feed the birds.

Lots of love to you




Good To Be Green.

Good morning .

I felt the need to share this with you.

I have been reading about a wonderful new breakthrough in being Green.

This concerns a new washing machine which is coming on to the  commercial market.

The machine uses a new technology which was  developed over many years by Stephen Burkinshaw at the University of Leeds.


The washing machine runs on a small amount of detergent and only needs enough water to form the needed humid conditions eg. about one cupful.

The actual cleaning of the garments is carried out by thousands of little nylon polymer beads which replace the rest of the water that would normally be required.

The  detergent and water dampens the clothes and causes the stains and dirt to loosen, while creating the water vapour that allows the re-usable beads to do their job and attract and absorb the dirt.

Once the washing cycle is completed, the beads fall through a mesh in the machine’s drum where they wait to be used again and again for anything up to one hundred washes.

What is even more amazing is that the clothes come out of the machine just about totally dry. This therefore cuts out the need for great amounts of tumble drying , which in turn saves money on household electricity bills etc


The company behind this innovative product is called Xeros.

Unfortunately, it seems we will all have to wait quite some time before we can buy a machine for the home, because the firm’s main intention is to  make moves towards licencing their technology out to the the  Dry Cleaning market, in order to make their name, before producing for the domestic consumer market.

This could definately be a world beater.

This process has already begun, because Xeros say that they have negotiated to sign a deal with GreenEarth Dry Cleaning in America.

It is a good start and I am seriously hoping that the movement towards living in a greener way continues to grow quickly.

I can’t wait.

Bartering and Beaches

Hi Peeps,

I have had a lovely day out today,

Big H and I got ready early this morning in order to travel to Tynemouth and visit the market, which is held on both Saturdays and Sundays, in the old railway station near to the sea.


This station is a beautiful Victorian building, built in 1882, which has a lovely,and very fancy, cast iron structure with a glass roof.

The stalls are all set out on both platforms and the brilliant thing is that the trains are all still running on schedule picking up and collecting passengers. It is wonderfully bustling and busy. The goods on display range from real antiques to proper junk, by way of army memorabilia and home made foods. Excellent stuff.


A guy sings and plays his guitar at the top of the stairs connecting the two platforms and his repertoire contains songs from Phil Collins and a locally grown Supergroup called Dire Straits.

He is a really good performer and Big H was moved enough to put £1 in his guitar case. An accolade indeed !

I was quick to buy a lovely black satin dress in the style of a Schiaparelli creased column gown and a long, black net ballerina skirt, all for the most satisfactory sum of £4 .

It would have been rude not too.

Big H, who hates this sort of place was quite tickled to find and buy himself a boxed digital micrometer, whatever that is !

The stallholder wanted £15 for it but he was smartly bartered down to a mere £10. I think he’s got it, by George he’s got it !

After that we went to Marshall’s for a most welcome meal of fish and chips, which we ate in the restaurant part of the premises.

I indulged myself with a portion of mushy peas, which is always served in a seperate little dish, and we both enjoyed copious amounts of tea served in thick white cups and saucers. Lovely.

Then we enjoyed the high point of the day and went for a long walk on both of the beaches. The weather was quite hazy and cloudy but there were still many people out enjoying the day.

I have uploaded some pictures so you can admire the beach but I can honestly tell you that on a hot summer’s day the place is even more magnificent.

I got a bit carried away as usual and ended up soaked to the thighs, so my new boots may well fall apart, but it was well worth it.

What a day.



Tynemouth Market 27.6.09

Picture 1.

Taken on 27-6-2009 by Big H

Tynemouth Station.

Grade II* Listed

.It was opened in 1882.

.This is one of Tynesides busiest markets.





Long Sands

Long Sands

Picture 2.

Taken on 27-6-2009 by Big H

Long Sands

Showing a distant view of St. George’s Gothic church, above the Long Sands beach at Cullercoats.

.Built by the Duke Of  Northumberland in 1884.

.The 180ft spire was used by the local fishermen to find their way home.

New details about Michael Jackson’s death emerging.

Good morning everyone,

I received a comment this morning from a reader also called Michael, asking if I had seen the new details emerging about Michael Jackson’s death, so I googled them.

It is pretty much what I imagined .  The man was a perfectionist, and was no doubt working 100% to be beyond expectation in every way, for his new and gruelling series of concerts.  Not an easy thing to do at 50 unless a person has been in regular physical training for a long period of time.

I cannot imagine the stress that there is for someone like him, someone who is a stellar superstar, who’s every action is eagerly dissected by the press and media.

There are also problems for those who have vast global recognition and financial power because they cannot always judge the sincerity and true intentions of the those who surround them.

It seems likely now, that he had a possible addiction to painkillers which probably began after his leg and back injuries, and that is a sad thing.

What is definitely known and accepted is that Michael Jackson was a Superstar of a kind we are rarely lucky enough to witness.  I think that this is the thing we should all celebrate.

He gave us pleasure, moments of amazement, and has left us an enormous amount of wonderful music.

Thank you Michael Jackson,


Hi Mike. I agree Michael Jackson was definitely The King Of Pop.


Involuntary Manslaughter trial eventually!



Further Education


You will be pleased to know that I have just learned something new.

Big H was looking through a post of mine and asked me why I had not used Spellchecker on it yet?


I told him that I did not know how to use it, so I just did the check  myself. Obviously a vain and egotistical notion of my own capacity for good spelling as I could never correct a spelling mistake if I think a wrong spelling is correct in the first place.

Anyway, I was duly shown a little icon just above the box I write in and when I touch it I get all my mistakes underlined in red. The resulting forest of corrections made me feel that I was back in school for one nostalgic moment.

Having seen the error of my ways I can only ask you to excuse all my previous eccentric spelling on the grounds of insanity.



I Hate Crusts.


And so the weekend beckons. I hope that you have something good in store .

At the moment I do not have anything special planned because Big H’s energy levels fluctuate a lot. Proven by the fact that I still have ladders in the living room and black wires hanging out of the walls and ceiling.

I do not nag him however as I am used to half finished jobs.

After 40 odd years of living with someone, you adapt, because the alternative would be to kill him and this is not an option as all the training that has managed to stick would be wasted.

He is also very good at scratching my back, when I cannot reach the itchy bits, and at making me my special sandwiches.

This began years ago when I was due to go into hospital and have a D&C. I had never been in hospital before as I had both of my children at home.

That was not an easy thing to do in those days because the trend was to go in and be induced etc., and I was even threatened with possibly dire consequences of my stubbornness because I was having a first baby when I was over 25.

I just thought that a home birth was a good thing as there is no regimentation and you can please yourself.
The other side benefit is that you know for sure that the baby you have is definitely your own child.
This is comforting for those who end up with teenage monsters because at least they will  know that the monster is most definitely of their own creation.
Over the years there have been quite a lot of stories of mix-ups taking place and people eventually finding out that they are actually bringing up someone else’s baby and vice versa for the other family. What a nightmare that must be to sort out.

To continue the story so far. On the day before the operation I was really feeling frightened and had not eaten at all because of nerves.

Big H was very worried and kept offering me various meals, which were refused, until In the end he desperately asked, “How about just a couple of ham sandwiches?

Even though I again refused, he went off to make me some anyway, just in case I could be tempted.
About an hour later he came back upstairs with a pretty little china plate upon which were three tiny little triangular sandwiches which contained surgically thin slices of cucumber and tomatoes along with the ham, and , best of all, the crusts were cut off.
That worked. I ate those, even confessed that I could manage a few more, and then a few more again. It made me feel a lot better, still scared, but better.

This passion for trimmed sandwiches results from my childhood, where there was rationing after the war, and meals were still very sparse affairs.

We did not eat between meals and you never felt totally full, so we were expected to eat everything on our plates, no matter what we thought of it.

I used to hate the sandwiches made with days-old bread and I can remember laboriously chomping through the crusts telling myself that when I finally grew up I would never eat crusts again.
You cannot imagine the pleasure I can get from not doing so.

Another thought I have.  Surely it would be very sensible if people were to pay more attention to things which they have to do regularly and learn to get pleasure from them.

Just because something is a natural function or a daily necessity does not preclude an enormous amount of enjoyment being obtained.


Many people seem to be of the mindset that fun is something ‘out there’ that needs to be provided and then paid for.

This means that if tough times arrive there is a true feeling of deprivation and distress because expenses will not stretch to cover these expenditures regularly, whereas if you can change perceptions now these pleasurable moments will still occur naturally every single day

For instance, in my own case, I love having a poo.

I love the feeling of my insides contracting and then a strange ‘circular ‘ movement as the bowel begins evacuating itself. There is an added benefit in that I am prepared to sit there quietly till it is all done.

I don’t rush away before the body begins to work, because it is taking far too long, or there are other things I would rather be doing instead.

I never put it off because I would rather watch television or paint my toenails instead. This is a way healthy habit.
Try it yourself, it helps to shut your eyes and feel it in the beginning  until you get used to paying attention to yourself.

GO ON, you are worth it.

Another thing I like to do is close my eyes and empty my head totally when I clean my teeth.

I have no thoughts in it at all and it gets like a meditation instead of it being a boring task that is over as quickly as possible, and is probably not anywhere near thorough enough .

I could go on but I do not want to bore you silly.  If you are already silly then please don’ t try to blame it on me ‘cos it’s all your own fault.

Enjoy your day, have a poo.


Michael Jackson Dies.


Isn’t it strange. I was never a fan of Michael Jackson in a big way, but I still felt a shock when I heard he had died.

Taken just as a performer the man was excellent and the first time I saw him moonwalk it looked just like magic.