Sodding Gremlins!

Hello

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Jaksie’s Back!!!!

Did you miss me!

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Well, I shall regard the past few weeks as a well earned holiday …. but in actual fact …. it was a nasty Gremlin attack.

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And, of course, computers can just be plain evil.

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Now this was somewhat of a problem for me, because as you know very well by now, I have the technical abilities of a large bag of carrots  …. and that is on a very good day indeed!

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Fortunately, I eventually realised that the site was not going to suddenly resurrect itself after playing dead for a week or so, and I once more sought help from the inimitable Mr.T, who is my own version of Superman.

As is usual, he did fly to my rescue and did do battle with the aforementioned Gremlins.

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They are now mostly dead …. except for a few of the specialist SAS troopers, who are now hiding out in the ‘My Art’ section of the Jaksie spaceship.

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They also shall be decimated …. eventually.

We show no mercy on Planet Jaksie.

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So, all that remains is for me to say that I am sorry if you have missed me …. but glad if you did.

I mean, I could spend these blogging hours on something more useful in the scheme of things …. like housework for instance …. not!

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So, during my unexpected hiatus from writing to you all, I have obviously filled my extra time in useful and very humanity-enhancing ways, which have included more eating, more drinking and of course more book reading.

You could still write your name in the dust around here though, obviously I am still choc-full of good intentions but low on the appliance of will power.

Some of us are just easily distracted!!!

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Hope that you have a good one yourself, and hopefully it will be full of irresistible distractions too.

J,x

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See you soon, if the Gremlins don’t get me first.

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Rock-A-Bye Baby.

Hi,

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I know that many ‘experts’ are at loggerheads about the correct way to treat babies.

I also know that many tentative new mothers are very timid, when it comes to the best advice, and when it comes to deciding who to listen to.

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Sometimes gut  instinct is actually the best way.

If they feel that something is wrong, then for them it probably is.

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Some Russian ideas can be very vigorous.

The following yoga treatment for babies has been causing consternation for years.

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The baby shown in the clip is reportedly only two weeks old.

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Scary stuff to many of us!
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Siku The Baby Polar Bear.

Hi,

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So, we have something unbearably cute today  (and there is a pun in there somewhere).

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On November 22nd 2011, a tiny bear was born in a Scandinavian Wildlife Park.

Unfortunately, his mother was not able to feed him as she did not have good enough milk production.

This has meant that the helpless little creature needs to be hand-fed for the first year of life, a task which is being carried out 24 hours a day, by three people per day.

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Meet Siku, the super-cute Polar bear.

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Siku …. which means sea-ice …. is extremely lovable and many people are enjoying watching him grow.

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He even has his own facebook page.

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You can also watch him live on a webcam direct from the Wildlife Park during the day.

You can view him …. 8am-10am CST

…………………………….3pm-5pm  GMT+1

or you can catch up on past videos of him there.

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Of course, when he is grown we will all be careful to keep out of his reach because he will have developed into one of the most terrifying huge predators on our planet.

But for now it is a case of giving him baths, tickles, and cuddles.

Ahhhhh!

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If you are interested in Polar Bears, then you may well be interested in the programme shown by the BBC last year.
It cleverly used a super spy camera to film yet another cute baby Polar Bear, but this time in the wild.

It is narrated by David Tennant.

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For more about this programme you can use this link to bbc.co.uk.

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How To Get Rid Of The Chav Element.

Hi,

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The Irish bookmakers, Paddy Power, have come up with another hilarious advert.

This is their solution to subdue the emerging Chav element which is creeping into well known horse racing meetings, such as the Cheltenham Festival, which takes place over five days in March.

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If you remember, there was that dreadful brawl which took place last year at  Ascot, on Ladies Day.

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So here we go then.

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The firm gets a lot of publicity for their daring ads.

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This is Paddy Power’s banned ad called ‘Takeaway’.

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There was also ‘Blind Football’, which I think was the most complained about ad in 2010.

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Angela Merkel Gets Five Beers Poured Over Her.

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Obviously a manifestation of so much wishful thinking by so many other people!

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Adult Content: But What If It Does Not Work!

Hey,

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Whoaah, life can be very very strange.

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This weird piece of film has just been uploaded onto YouTube.

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It shows a man who has just bought himself some American body armour, with a special ‘second chance’ additional piece, which the guy says was made, appropriately enough, by a manufacturer called Second Chance.

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As  the man has obtained the bullet-proof protection, he decides that the next step would be to shoot himself at point blank range, to see if it actually works as well as it is supposed to.

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The video then shows the man psyching himself up to do the actual deed on film.

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It is a shock when he actually does fire the gun …. and a relief that the vest does work.

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Obviously it hurt, and the man is a bit shocked by that.

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Apparently the bullet was not only left feeling very frustrated after trying it’s best to kill the gentleman, but was also hot to the touch.

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As I said.

What if the vest had not worked!!!!

Tube Station Assault.

Hi,

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It often seems that the world is becoming quite scary nowadays!

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It was horrifying to find that the latest assault to take place in the London underground concerned a young woman being thrown onto the tracks by a stranger who grabbed her on the platform at Leicester Square on the Northern Line.

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The 23 year old was indeed lucky that she missed the live track by only inches, and that horrified commuters were quick to help pull her out before the next train arrived.

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She was reported to have been badly hurt on one side, so much so that it was assumed that she had been stabbed.

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The incident as recorded on CCTV.

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Leeds Train Station Assault last year.
The culprit has just been jailed.

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What is our world coming to!

Why can’t everyone just be NICE!

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Puggles And The Baby.

Hey,

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I just love this YouTube clip.

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It shows a 5 month old baby who is learning to gnaw by watching family dogs do it.

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I especially loved one comment this video, which was uploaded by someone identified as CaptnGraviton ….

…. ‘Eat well little one, for tomorrow we chase cats’ ….

Excellent!

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Undercover Boss: Don’t They Just Hate It When This Happens!

Hey,

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Lately I have been recording Undercover Boss, in order to watch something which can be amusing during the early morning hours when I cannot sleep.

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It is very formulaic.

Usually, the company C.E.O. manages to stay undercover until the moment of the reveal, which is done back at headquarters in the final segment

But Rick Silva, the C.E.O. of the very successful Checkers And Rally’s fast food empire could not manage to do this when he undertook his unusual experience of life for employees at ‘grass roots’ level.

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He may have begun the programme by his faith in the excellent standards in his American empire, but he soon found many ‘less-than-perfect’ parts in his 800 restaurant food machine.

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Finally, in Homestead, Florida, he blew his cover totally.

In one of his restaurants, the manager was seen to be abusive to his staff, even telling one man that he would take him outside and beat him if he did not work better.

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Afterwards, when Rick Silva spoke to the worker, he found that the poor guy was afraid to protest because he needed to keep his job in order to support his mum.

He also admitted that being spoken to in that manner made him feel as if he was worth nothing.

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Mr Silva then took the manager outside to question his actions, while still pretending to be the undercover personality called Alex Garcia.

The manager retaliates by questioning Alex Garcia’s knowledge of the food industry.

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Eventually the annoyed C.E.O. reveals his identity and demands that the eatery is closed down immediately.

The manager is suitably astonished.

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Once the place is emptied, the employees are feeling very concerned for their own futures.

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Rick Silva then re-opens the place the next day, with a new manager in place.

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He is thoughtful enough to talk to the offending manager afterwards, which allows him to discover that the man had not been adequately trained for the position …. and he then sends him for suitable re-training!

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Here is the moment of the inadvertent reveal.

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Don’t you just love it when that happens.
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Woman For Sale On E-Bay.

Hi,

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Well, that’s an intriguing heading isn’t it!

But true.

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A young Gloucester woman named Deborah Jayne Bowen, who cannot find employment in the normal fashion, and who has bills to pay, has come up with the idea of advertising herself on e-bay.

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She describes herself as ‘Sales Professional/BDM/W/House- will do almost anything for work’.

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Obviously her hopes are high that someone will admire her creativity and get-up-and-go, and offer her a good full-time job.

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Could it be you!

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This is the link to her advert on e-bay.

You will need to hurry because it ends on 23rd February 2012 at 13:33:35:

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Collection in person.

Returns are accepted!

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