The Eternal Battle.

Hello Folks,

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How are you today.

If you live here in the UK, you may not have a lot to be pleased about, but at least you probably haven’t been bitten today.

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Of course, we are talking about midgies here, as I have no knowledge at all about your Vampire leanings.

Your own private life being none of my bloody business!!!

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So, what is your 2011 yearly score then….is it  ‘Midgies 1,000,000’ and ‘Humans 0’…. in respect of bites given and recieved!

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I detest the bloody things, and I really hate seeing swarms of them gathering in a threatening manner under trees and on the riverbank, when Big H and I go for our summery walks.

They don’t really consume me alive as they do to Big H, but they are always spoiling things.

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I was doing some reading and noticed that some people think that eating Marmite discourages those biting-things from dining.

Now that encourages me greatly, because that particular substance is one of my daily staples.

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It would appear that you cannot hide from midgies because they are attracted by Carbon Dioxide, and can apparently zone in on you from distances of a couple of hundred metres.

What chance do we have escaping from that then!

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Covering ourselves in things containg Deet is the chemical way to try and dissuade them, but I don’t like such stuff because I can be too sensitive, and you don’t know what long-term harm they could possibly do.

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Unfortunately the opinions held by different people are somewhat confusing.

For example, some folks say that eating bananas will attract them, and others swear that eating bananas will repel them.

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Others swear by eating garlic, brewers yeast tablets and regularly swallowing cider vinegar will absolutely do the trick.

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In Big H’s opinion, alomg with all of his fishing cronies, the best way to stop them pestering you is to slather yourself in ‘Skin-So-Soft’ from Avon.

Of course, they all smell like girls!!!

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There is actually the option of buying yourself some Arnywear for Christmas.

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Myself, having read all of the advice given. can only deduce that there is but one absolute and totally guaranteed way to stop attracting them….and that would seem to be to stop breathing!!

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Nasty little buggers.

j,x.

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