The Wigs From Hell.

Good morning Peeps,

.

Well it is Thursday once again….roll on the weekend!

.

Wednesday was a very frustrating day once the postman had delivered.

We received our Georgian-style wigs from the fancy-dress site on the Internet….great excitement.

We opened the bags up and had a look….extreme disappointment.

.

What a load of total crap they were.

.

The hair was pure nylon and incredibly shiny.

Some parts were like fuzz and some had been treated in some way to hold very wonky looking curls which mostly had frizzy ends to them.

.

Big H’s wig was too tight to get on properly and instead of the expected rolls of hair going backwards over the crown there was a bunch of shapeless, sticking-up-in-clumps frizz.

.

When I examined it on the underneath, it had a piece of thick elastic sewn clumsily into the rest of the normal thin elastic to tighten it up.

There was also a tear in the netting that had been clumsily joined together with thick white thread.

.

I also found that the reason that the top looked so dire, was because the rolls had been formed by the use of long black clips holding them in place……all the ones at the top were obviously missing.

.

The assumption had to be that the wig had been previously worn and abused and then someone had roughly sewn the damage up quickly…then re-sold it.

.

Mine was dreadful, no way would I have been seen dead in it, especially not when we had gone to the trouble of finding ‘authentic’ Georgian outfits..

At first I wanted to throw them in the bin because I was so totally pissed off, but then I calmed down and decided that I might as well have a go at making them look a bit better.

.

Big H’s was relatively easy.

I just picked out the stitches from the extra bit of elastic and removed it, and then found that it fitted him snugly but was wearable.

I used my extra-long black hair clips to form a couple more slightly frizzy rolls at the front and then just left the top sticking up.

Big H said that it would do.

.

Faced with the excrescence that was my dire looking wig, I decided to just go-for-it.

I ended up combing the whole thing out after pulling off the big pink bows that were stuck to it with glue.

Then I used pieces of some navy ribbon to tie up bunches of the hair around the sides and then tie them onto the wig about two inches higher up the netting.

At the back there had been some baldy looking patches where my dark hair showed through so I back-combed the clump below the area and tied it over the patches with more blue bows.

.

At the front, which was an ugly looking line of hard nylon across the forehead, I held lengths of twisted nylon, in the shape of curls, across the hard line and tied them in place with more bows.

As the bits that were meant to be ringlets at the sides, by the ears, were sticking out inches away from the face….I got white thread and sewed them onto the wig base in order to give a normal looking frame to the face.

.

After all of that it looked passable….in a horribly glittery shiny nylon way.

.

OK, you may ask, how much did you pay!

Well you are right.

The total cost was under £50, but I would never have bought them if I had seen them first.

.

Frustratingly, I can remember that years ago there was a time when a brewing company gave away free wigs with cans of beer, it may have been Guinness, and they were de-luxe compared with the ones we received.

.

That is the problem with buying on the Internet…it is a bit like swapping your cow for magic beans!

.

Anyway, I shall stop ranting now and let you get on with your work ‘cos I know that you are dying to.

Have a nylon-wig-free day.

J.

.

.

Leave a Response