Today it really is Monday.

Good morning to you,

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I hope that you have had a really good weekend and that you are feeling great today.

I am.

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Last night I did not sleep so well so I ended up arising at about 4.30 am.

When I got downstairs I started my usual routine, by gathering up all the glasses, tinnies, cups and detritus left on the coffee table, from the previous evening’s debauchery.

When I stacked up the glasses, they toppled over and smashed. So there I was in the early hours, finding paper, and picking all the bits up off the floor.

After wrapping it all up, I went to get a black plastic bag, in order to to dispose of it all safely.

Apart from anything else, the plastic that holds tinnies together is harmful to animals, so you need to be careful with it’s disposal too.

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Have you noticed what rubbishy black bags they sell at the Spar?.

They are so bloody flimsy that they rip when you are handling them. What crap we put up with.

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After that I had to get out the Dyson and hoover up all those little shiny bits that are impossible to see, and dangerous to try and pick up yourself.

Then out to leave the rubbish in the yard, because I cannot go out into the lane to put it in my bin dressed in my tiger-skin dressing gown, with hair from hell and morning breath.

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Yes, I know.

Why not, you say to yourself, there will not be anyone around at this hour and it will only take you a moment.

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IT IS A LIE.

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The last time I did that, a man appeared in the lane and kept me talking for what felt like hours, while two other people came past as well.

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Bloody neighbours, I bet he thought it was hilarious to do that, but he does not know that sometime in the future I am going to kill him for it.

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After that, I fed the birds with a couple of the buns left over from yesterday’s barbecue.

I love feeding them. It is something I started doing a few weeks ago after my mum died, because it made me feel better.

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Once I have put out the food I come in and close the back door, and stand waiting to see who arrives first.

This morning it was a starling, who often comes down and sits watching me, even when there is no food.

Closely followed by two beautiful crows.

Or are they jackdaws?

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They are a sort of grey /black with a darker patch at the front of their heads.

Anyway, I love the way they strut about, and the sheer size of them, with their suspicious darting ‘lookabouts’ and their horny beaks.

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I feel this even though I know that if they ever find me lying totally drunk and legless in the garden they will probably peck out my eyes.

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After that I made myself a big mug of Earl Grey and came upstairs to write this.

I did not make my toasted Warburton’s Potato Pancakes yet, because it is too early, and I will be hungry again at about nine

This way I have something to look forward to later.

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Save up small pleasures in life and appreciate them. It helps keep you shiny and healthy.

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Last night there was nothing on the television so we decided to watch a DVD instead.

My husband, whom I shall call Big H in future, chose to watch Jason Statham in Transporter.

I did not think that I would enjoy it, but I did.

Statham is very fit and I like his strange voice. I don’t know why Kelly Brook would leave him for Billy Zane. She must be mad. Unless, of course, he is a serial stinky farter or an Olympic class snorer, like a lot of men are.

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And the answer to the Great Game question is a Yes.

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Talking about the Great Game.

Have you seen Jeff Goldblum walking out of the desert at the end of Independence Day.

That man has such a sexy walk. His legs are so straight and tidy, with none of that strange knees- bending- sideways or messy feet, that you often see.

He became one of my favourites after that, and constantly pleases me with his elegant and graceful economy of movement.

This is unusual in such a tall man.

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The answer to the G.G.Q. is a resounding YES, no doubt very much to Mr. Goldblum’s horror.

Whilst we are on the subject. I also like Bruce Willis’s face, because he always looks as if he is smiling about something.

No doubt he would continue to look amused even as he was giving you a thorough beating up.

He seems like a decent man though, according to what you see in the media, not many people would seem able to stay so close to a divorced partner. Good for them.

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Today I am hoping that Big H will finish off the installation of his new television, so that I can finally tidy up all of the mess and dust that is all over the place.

But we shall wait and see.

It is now six thirty and I can no longer resist the siren call of the toasted pancakes.

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Have fun.
LOL

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