Worrying about someone you love is a total waste of time and energy.

Hi,

It’s quarter to three, no one in the place except you and me.

On second thoughts, perhaps you are not a Frank Sinatra admirer.

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I was not very sleepy tonight so here I am again, writing a post in the early hours of the morning.

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Tonight I want to write about the way time and powerful energy is wasted if you expend it just worrying about someone you care for.

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When you care for someone, you have an emotional connection to them.

When you are spending time worrying about them you are doing nothing at all to help them in a useful and constructive way.  All you are doing is making yourself out of balance.

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Worrying is a natural enough thing to do , but you are wasting an opportunity to be helpful.

When you worry about a person that you have some emotional connection with, it can best be described as opening up a telephone line between you and them.

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That is why we say things like  ‘It tugged upon the strings of my heart’  or  ‘ I feel such a connection with you’.

On a certain level we all instinctively know this.

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Just think of it like an invisible string that connects you to them no matter how far away they are from you.

It is like dialling their number and plugging in on their wavelength.

Having done this you then waste a golden opportunity to help them by just sitting back and worrying yourself silly.

If anything of that emotion got through to the person it would not be of any use to them at all.

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Think about how often , during past emotional upsets, when we do not know what to do , we act upon advice someone keeps forcefully putting forward. Later on when the crisis is over we wonder why we did certain things because  we realise that the way we dealt with it was not the best solution for us and we wish we had done it differently.

It is no good regretting it and wishing we could have another chance. We dealt with it in that way because the turmoil and emotion made us too receptive and open, and we were too desperate to think logically about the good sense of the proffered advice.

What we needed was calming down and encouragement and firm support, creating us a place where we could work it out effectively.

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What should you do when you are worrying about a  person so much that they keep coming into your mind all the time and you cannot stop thinking about them?

You should treat it like you would an open phone line.

SPEAK TO THEM.

Do it this way.

Sit quietly

Calm yourself.

Concentrate totally on that person.

Do not be feeling all that worry about the situation. Do not be churning up inside. Be calm and hold the feeling of caring for them.

Be calm and totally in the moment. Concentrate on them in an easy way.

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Now speak to them directly.

Do it either way. You can physically speak , as if they are in the room with you or you can speak to them in your mind. It makes no difference which way you do this.

In some situations you will not be alone and so you will obviously do this in your mind, just as people pray without sound in a church.

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Tell them that you love them and thatyou care for them.

Tell them you know that they have worries but they will be able to cope with the situation. That it will pass and things will be better again.

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Tell them that they are wonderful and that they are loved and respected by others, that they are important to them.

That they are not alone and that you love them dearly. You can remind them of all the other people who love and cherish them.

That they are precious and needed by so many others who are there for them always.Tell  them again that they are not alone.

You will be doing something helpful and constructive with all the energy you would have used up in pointlessly worrying yourself silly.

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Try never to waste your time in worry.

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Sometimes the only thing you can do is make the connection and send a prayer to them.   Ask that they be kept safe from harm.

If you find that the worry keeps popping up then send another prayer, it can only help, you can not do any better.

If you do not pray then send thoughts of encouragement to the person, tell them that they are strong, that they can get through this.

Tell them to be brave . Tell them you love and believe in them.

Send them encouragement that  they can get through it.

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Just think of it this way.  If I am right, and I am, then you do help.

It is the same as being physically with them and speaking to them and touching them.  It is just touching them upon another level.

If there is nothing else you can do, then do this.

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If at that precise moment , because you have been intensely worried about them, you make the connection a live one,  imagine the help you could give to someone at the end of their tether, their  thinking so disordered by stress and worry that they can see no way through. They have forgotten all the good things and are in despair.

If at that precise moment, because you have been thinking of them, you have made the connection a live one and you manage to send through with your love and comfort and care. That could be just enough to lift them again and give them the strength to carry on.

What is there to lose in trying.

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This method of connection can be used in many situations.

For instance,  if you know that someone is imprisoned, you could follow the steps to being quiet and send them the thoughts that you care  about them and encourage them to be strong.

It can be done for public figures you have never met but whom you care aboutt.  People such as Nelson Mandela years age or today’s imprisoned dissidents.

Or even someone you read about in the newspapers who is suffering and who you would like to help.

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Do  not waste your energy wishing you could help.  Do it.  Just direct some love and care their way.

Also remember that love is not a finite thing.  People do not have only a certain amount of love to give and them they are empty.  The more you love, the more love you have to give.

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If you are worrying about someone sitting an exam then tell them to be calm, that they will be able to cope well, calmly send them love and encouragement, then ‘put down the phone’ and be happy that you have done something to help

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Do this for yourself too when you are worrying about something personal.

Calm your mind and body and then speak to yourself. Tell yourself not to worry. You can do this, you are strong enough  etc, etc,

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Remember that worrying sucks. It is one of the most useless and pointless ways to spend your time and emotion.

It is a bad habit. Get rid of it. Do something constructive instead.

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My goodness how the time has passed.  There is now a loud morning chorus outside, so I shall do my spell check before I go out and feed the birds.

Lots of love to you

J

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